Question : Is a Buddhist homosexual breaking the precept on "avoiding sexual misconduct?"
Answer :
What do we mean by "sexual misconduct?" Here we are referring specifically to behaviour that harms the person who performs the act, or the other party - not all sexual conduct. Sex is prohibited to those who choose to be celibate e.g. monks or nuns. These persons have voluntarily chosen to abstain from sex to better concentrate on their spiritual progress. In a sexual relationship, if the two parties are consenting adults, not under-aged, not “attached” (legally or otherwise) to someone else, there is no harm done.
In Buddhism, we do not consider any action "sinful" in the sense that we transgress a divine commandment. We act wrongly because of avijja (ignorance) and therefore we commit an akusala kamma (unskillful/bad action) that delays or interferes with our spiritual progress. In our ignorance about the real nature of things (in this case, our body) we act in ways that are detrimental to us from a spiritual point of view. Understanding and wisdom will help us refrain from harmful actions, both mental and physical.
In this connection, Buddhism does not recognise that marriage is a divinely ordained institution that suddenly makes sex permissible. Sex is a human activity that has nothing to do with heaven and hell. You will notice that sexual restraint is one of the Five Precepts observed by practising Buddhists. Killing is far more serious because you can hurt another being more viciously. Sex is a craving, just like craving for food, liquor, drugs, wealth, power, etc. Attachment to any of these constitutes akusala kamma because, if we really understand the nature of our bodies and how craving works against us, we will not indulge in it. Buddhism discourages any of these forms of craving because they will tie us down more firmly to samsara. Also, indulgence in sex can lead to other evils like anger, jealousy, remorse and guilt.
Question : If two members of the same gender fall in love with each other, are they wrong?
Answer :
You may see from the foregoing that Buddhism does not see homosexuality as wrong and heterosexuality as right. Both are sexual activities using the body, both are strong expressions of lust which increase desire for life and therefore trap us longer in samsara. When a couple (whether a man and a woman, two men or two women) fall in love, it arises out of the same human limitation of not seeing the body as empty of any ultimate reality.
Question: Does Buddhism condemn homosexuals/homosexuality?
Answer
Buddhism does not condemn homosexuals in the same way as it does not condemn any wrongdoing. We act through ignorance of the true nature of things. Therefore, we are only guilty of akusala kamma. We have no right to condemn others. Our duty is to help others see that they are acting out of ignorance, to show how real happiness can be gained. We have no right to condemn those who think or act differently from us, especially when we ourselves are slaves of sensual pleasure in other forms. We know that when we point one finger at others, the other three fingers are pointing at us.
In summary, homosexuality, like heterosexuality, arises from ignorance. All forms of sex increase lust, craving and attachment to the body. With wisdom, we learn to grow out of these attachments. We do not condemn homosexuality as wrong and sinful, but we do not condone it either, simply because it, like other forms of sex, delays our deliverance from samsara.
Question : As a homosexual, I have suffered much. What should I do?
I am a homosexual and I am suffering for it. I would be most grateful if you could advise me what should I do about it.
Answer:
You say you 'suffer' from being a homosexual. But have you asked yourself why you suffer? Is it because homosexuality itself brings suffering like AIDS or cancer or do you suffer from feelings of guilt because your sexual choice does not conform with what society has deemed as deviant behaviour?
You suffer because of what others think of you. This distinction is important because you must realise you are allowing external forces to determine your happiness or unhappiness. The Buddhist view of all sexual behavior is contained in the Third Precept: “I undertake the training rule to abstain from sexual misconduct.”
Sexual activity is based on the use of the body to gain pleasure. Sex in itself is not sinful. What is wrong is the use of sex to exploit others - young children, the economically deprived and so on. It does not matter if this pleasure is obtained through heterosexual or homosexual behavior.
Buddhism sees little difference between a homosexual who exploits others and a heterosexual who does the same, although public opinion seems to make heroes of the latter, calling them macho. We need to ask ourselves whether the sexual excesses of some public figures like footballers and film stars actually deserve so much publicity.
Sex is sex, regardless of how we derive pleasure from it! What we have to guard against is attachment to the body and the pleasure derived from it - gluttony and alcoholism can be just as harmful. The more we indulge in sex the more we become attached to our gross bodies and the more we are doomed to suffer in samsara thinking that our bodies are real. Sensible self-restraint of the body in all matters leads to freedom and spiritual development, free from guilt.
We must train ourselves not be attracted to our bodies (although we must treat them with due respect) and to see our bodies, and those of others, as nothing more than receptacles for pus, urine, blood, saliva. We must not waste unnecessary time on useless guilt. Use your effort and energy to develop positive states of mind. As you see your body for what it really is, you will be able to transcend all your different desires. But you have to be patient and diligent. These things take time.
Question : Does Buddhism condemn homosexuals/homosexuality?
Answer :
Buddhism does not condemn homosexuals in the same way as it does not condemn any wrongdoing. We act through ignorance of the true nature of things. Therefore, we are only guilty of akusala kamma. We have no right to condemn others. Our duty is to help others see that they are acting out of ignorance, to show how real happiness can be gained. We have no right to condemn those who think or act differently from us, especially when we ourselves are slaves of sensual pleasure in other forms. We know that when we point one finger at others, the other three fingers are pointing at us.
In summary, homosexuality, like heterosexuality, arises from ignorance. All forms of sex increase lust, craving and attachment to the body. With wisdom, we learn to grow out of these attachments. We do not condemn homosexuality as wrong and sinful, but we do not condone it either, simply because it, like other forms of sex, delays our deliverance from samsara. With the Blessings of the Noble Triple Gem,
Question : As a homosexual, I have suffered much. What should I do?
I am a homosexual and I am suffering for it. I would be most grateful if you could advise me what should I do about it.
Answer :
You say you 'suffer' from being a homosexual. But have you asked yourself why you suffer? Is it because homosexuality itself brings suffering like AIDS or cancer or do you suffer from feelings of guilt because your sexual choice does not conform with what society has deemed as deviant behaviour?
You suffer because of what others think of you. This distinction is important because you must realise you are allowing external forces to determine your happiness or unhappiness. The Buddhist view of all sexual behavior is contained in the Third Precept: “I undertake the training rule to abstain from sexual misconduct.”
Sexual activity is based on the use of the body to gain pleasure. Sex in itself is not sinful. What is wrong is the use of sex to exploit others - young children, the economically deprived and so on. It does not matter if this pleasure is obtained through heterosexual or homosexual behavior.
Buddhism sees little difference between a homosexual who exploits others and a heterosexual who does the same, although public opinion seems to make heroes of the latter, calling them macho. We need to ask ourselves whether the sexual excesses of some public figures like footballers and film stars actually deserve so much publicity.
Sex is sex, regardless of how we derive pleasure from it! What we have to guard against is attachment to the body and the pleasure derived from it - gluttony and alcoholism can be just as harmful. The more we indulge in sex the more we become attached to our gross bodies and the more we are doomed to suffer in samsara thinking that our bodies are real. Sensible self-restraint of the body in all matters leads to freedom and spiritual development, free from guilt.
We must train ourselves not be attracted to our bodies (although we must treat them with due respect) and to see our bodies, and those of others, as nothing more than receptacles for pus, urine, blood, saliva. We must not waste unnecessary time on useless guilt. Use your effort and energy to develop positive states of mind. As you see your body for what it really is, you will be able to transcend all your different desires. But you have to be patient and diligent. These things take time.
Touching Lives with Dhamma,
Surya
